Each Day Brings me One Step Closer to who I want to be!

It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, "Always do what you are afraid to do."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

  So for Day 1 of my new program on revamping my life and subsequently my attitude, I found several repeats in the negative department. This tells me what to look for and be aware of for future prevention.

  I probably had more negatives then this, but I didn't remember to write down every little thing. Its tough with woking to have an opportunity to write down everything.

a.) Went to the gym this morning and looked at myself in the mirror and said "God, look at your inner thighs that's disgusting. How can you live with yourself?" I said this in my head then tried to think of my two positives to replace this negative..."But the back of your thighs have a muscle that's starting to show that's cool, and your arms look really trim and cut"-not my best work but a start.

b.) At work I went into the classroom before the students arrived and said "You're a fraud, you have no idea what you are doing and the kids will eat you alive." While I couldn't come up with my two positives, at the end of the day I told myself "Guin, you did great today, the kids really seemed to enjoy the class and you maintained classroom management...I'm so proud of you."

c.) Had a bit of a breakdown when my son, Logan and I were playing "pretend makeup" he was pulling my shirt up and asking me about my belly button and what it is, etc. I saw my stretch marked covered stomach and felt very crappy about myself. I started to wonder how anyone could find me attractive then I stopped and told myself "you have no control over whether or not you get stretch marks from pregnancy its not your fault." That seemed to make me feel a little better.

In regards to complimenting or helping a stranger I decided to focus on other women today who may be struggling with body image issues.

At the gym, there was a pregnant woman walking the track while I ran. During my cool down I decided to slow down and talk to her. I told her “You are absolutely gorgeous. You’re definitely glowing and that’s the look that makes people want to be pregnant.” She seemed rather surprised then smiled and put her hand on my arm and thanked me. It felt good to tell her that, because I wish someone had said that to me when I was pregnant. Its a lonely place being pregnant, in regards to body image issues. I also helped a woman at the kids' school with getting in the building. She looked fantastic ESPECIALLY for having a little baby so I made sure to tell her how beautiful she looked. I will be working on my compliments to people because I tend to overexplain or go overboard to where it almost seems not genuine.

Perhaps my hardest goal today was attempting to be "present" with my kiddos for an hour. I ended up making it 15 minutes of playing at the park where I was completely saturated with just the kiddos and not thinking of anything else. Definitely a work in progress to get to that hour where I can be 100%. This is not to say that I neglect my children, it is just that when I am playing with them I'm not always completely 100 percent mentally immersed in the activity we are doing.